literature

Before I Do

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Sam ran as fast as she could, doing her best to avoid anybody she knew who would kidnap her and drag her away to the makeshift dressing room in one of the hotel’s rooms. She tripped over her long white train in her haste, and fell straight into the arms of a certain ghost boy.

“Save me,” she pleaded, as she yanked her skirts up and he stood her up questioningly. “Go ghost and fly me out of here before I go insane.”

“Um, Sam,” Danny’s voice suppressed laughter. “What’s going on?”

“This,” she indicated to her long, white, ridiculously lacy and gaudy gown, “this wedding. Everything!”

“Are you thinking of backing out,” he teased, kissing her lightly on her creased forehead. “I hope not. You’ll break my heart.”

“Why would I back out?” she grinned. “After all, if I dumped you now, who would be the face of my new non-profit environmental organization?”

He shook his head in mock sadness. “I should have known you’d have an ulterior motive to marrying me.”

“Sammykins!” a high-pitched squeal echoed through the halls of the large hotel they were holding the wedding at. “Where are you? The wedding is in one day, and we have a lot of things to do! We still need to finish altering your dress! And you still haven’t chosen the shoes you wanted to wear!”

“Let’s elope,” Sam suggested, dragging him down the hall with her before her mother saw them.

“Aw, Sam, then I won’t get to see you in a white wedding gown,” he complained. “And speaking of which, if your mom finds out that I’ve seen the dress before you waltz down the aisle, she’ll have a coronary.”

“Damn those stupid superstitions. And I hate this dress,” she grumbled. “It’s way too flashy and a waste of $5000 that could have been sent to Greenpeace to help save the whales. Why can’t she let me pick my own dress for my own wedding, for Pete’s sake? Is that too much to ask?”

“Because she knows that whatever you pick out will probably have black in it,” he said in a no-duh tone, “But aren’t you being a bit dramatic about this whole wedding? I mean, it’s just a dress.”

“Easy for you to say. All you need to do is rent out a tux. You don’t have to stand for hours with some tailor measuring every inch of you, then adjusting and adjusting.”

Then the familiar voice of Sam’s mother wandered into the hallway, emitting a screech.

“Sam! What are you doing? It’s bad luck for the groom to see the dress before the wedding! And we still need more measurements! Get back here!”

“On second thought,” Danny murmured. “Maybe you’re not being dramatic at all. I’ll see ya later,” he said with a final kiss, then disappeared out of sight.

“Thanks for ditching me,” Sam muttered. “I hate you.”

A low chuckle rang through the hallway and she felt a cold being brush a kiss against her cheek and disappear.

“Sam?” Pamela Manson had finally reached her daughter in horror. “Look at you! You’re going to rip that dress the way you’re running! And the train!” she spied a small stain on the end of the long piece of fabric. “Look! Samantha, get back into the dressing room and don’t get out until it’s time to say your ‘I do’s’!”

“Somebody shoot me,” Sam scowled at the floor, before she was dragged off with her overexcited mother for more fittings.

S2

Danny materialized into his own makeshift dressing room at the hotel and sank into the bed. After his family finally found out that he was the one and only Danny Phantom, he had worked with his powers so he could do practically all of them in his human form. He still fought in his ghost form, of course, when he needed to, seeing how it was much more powerful, but it was a lot simpler to be able to go invisible, intangible, or fly in his human form. Though it was still rather frightening to his parents.

“Hey Danny, you decent?” Tucker banged on his bedroom door, and barged in without waiting for an answer, tugging Jazz in with him.

“Danny!” Jazz smiled, and gave her brother a hug. “We just got in. I can’t believe you’re finally marrying Sam.”

“Yeah, tomorrow,” Danny grinned. “Sam isn’t too excited about the wedding, though. She wants to elope.”

“I don’t blame her,” Tucker said. He continued, “I saw her in her room with her mother and the tailor, and she looked like she was in torture. This wedding is the exact opposite of her. I bet if she was in charge, well—she wouldn’t be wearing that dress, that’s for sure. Poor Sam,” he smirked, without an ounce of sympathy on his face. “I can’t wait to see you guys. It’s gonna be hilarious.”

“Sam’s mom is really going all out for it,” Danny said absently. “She flipped out at first, saying that she would never approve of Sam marrying me—apparently, even the fact that I’m a hero isn’t enough for her,” he said with a faint smile, “but then when she got used to the idea she dedicated months to this.”

“How’s your mom getting along with her?” Tucker asked. Right then, Maddie stormed out of Sam’s room, slamming the door. “I’ve had it with that Pamela!” she freaked to the empty hallway. “It’s my son who’s getting married too! But since I accidentally got the wrong size of shoes for Sam—the ones that she sent me like a servant to buy—she started yelling and banned me from the rest of the wedding planning! As if it was her wedding!”

She then stomped from the room, evidently intending to go destroy some innocent things in her fury.

“I guess that answers my question,” Tucker said finally. “I don’t want to be in the same continent when those two get in a fight.”

Then Danny spied a glittering rock on Jazz’s right hand, and gasped. “Jazz! What’s that!”

She blushed and brought her hand up. “This? Oh, its nothing…” she lied.

Tucker placed his arm around Jazz and admitted, “Well, we were going to wait till after your wedding to tell you, but yes, we’re engaged.”

Danny’s mouth dropped. “You? Tucker? Engaged? But…” he sputtered.

“Oh, thanks. That really helps a guy’s ego. Am I really that incapable of getting a girl?”

“Actually, yeah,” Danny ignored Tucker’s indignant glare. He looked at Jazz, and back at Tucker. “I can’t believe it! My sister is marrying my best friend! But you guys have only been dating for like, uh…”

“Just three years, Danny. I know, it’s a completely impulsive decision,” Jazz said sardonically.

“That’s right! Soon we’ll be bound in wedlock, just like you guys! The only difference is that I’m marrying the hottest girl on the planet!” Tucker pronounced, and then soundly locked lips with Jazz.

“Um, eww.” Danny shielded his eyes. “Please don’t kiss my sister in front of me or say stuff like that. That’s just weird. Not to mention creepy. And was that just a diss to Sam? I’ll make sure to mention it to her later.”

“Oh, don’t be immature, Danny,” Jazz laughed. “Don’t tell Sam yet, though. We want to announce it later.”

“Well, you might think of hiding that thing,” Danny pointed to the diamond on her finger, and she twisted it around so it looked more inconspicuous.

“OK, enough about that,” Jazz interrupted when Danny opened his mouth to ask more questions. “What do you think about Pamela Manson inviting some ghosts to be part of this wedding? I mean, I don’t really think that you personally invited Skulker yourself.”

Danny flew up in the air. “WHAT?!” he yelled.

“I take it he didn’t read the guest list yet…” Tucker said with amusement.

“What? Where did you hear this? What the hell are you talking about?” Danny demanded.

“Well, I don’t know how many, but I did see Skulker about the hotel,” Jazz remarked. “I assumed she invited some ghosts from the United Dimensions. From the size of the ballroom the wedding’s going to be held at, she’s invited a lot of people. Do you know anything about this wedding?”

“No,” Danny admitted. “Sam’s mom is pretty much in control of everything. I bet Sam doesn’t even know half of what’s planned. I figured that if I let her plan the wedding she’d forget about the horror of her only daughter being married to me.”

“Well, this will definitely be something to remember.” Tucker shook his head.

“Well, it’s not every day a human girl marries a ghost. No, scratch that, the most famous ghost that saved the planet from utter destruction once. Even if it is just a half ghost, like Danny,” Jazz pointed out.

“Eloping is starting to sound better and better...” Danny sighed.

S2

“Mom!” Sam yelped. “That was mean! Danny’s mother has just as much right to plan this wedding as you do!”

“That woman knows nothing of organization,” Pamela sniffed. “She doesn’t even know how to cook a proper meal. That was merely the last straw. How does she even survive as a mother!”

“Well, that was completely rude,” Sam declared, but her mom simply grabbed her arm and started talking again. “So, did your maid of honor get the dress we got for her?” Sam’s mother demanded. “And does it fit? We need to get her in here for fittings,” she fretted.

Sam faceplanted her head into her palm. “Mom, the wedding is tomorrow. I’m sure if it didn’t fit, Jazz would have done something about it. What else could we possibly do? We have every little thing planned!”

“Oh, we’re not even close to done,” Pamela looked at her ignorant daughter in alarm. “We need to double check the caterer, go greet the guests here that have arrived already, and so many other things!” She pulled out a pink notebook covered in her elegant scrawl. “And this is just the first page!”

“Good. You can go do it. I’m going to see Danny.” She tugged her high heels off and put on some jeans, and was about to run out the door when her mother grabbed her and said, “You are not to see Danny until tomorrow. You already spoiled the surprise by letting him see the wedding dress. That’s a bad enough omen, so we should be extra careful now.”

Oh, good grief, Sam thought to herself. “Mom! It’s just a stupid wedding!”

“It’s the wedding of the century!” Pamela gasped. “I admit, I wasn’t very pleased when you first announced that you were engaged, seeing how your fiancé is half ghost—darling, what do you think the children are going to be like?—but you always were rebellious, so I figured there was nothing to be done to convince you. But this can’t just be any ordinary wedding! He is, after all, very famous, and a small wedding would simply not satisfy the masses.”

“It would satisfy me,” Sam retorted, but her mother ignored her.

“You two, after all, are one of the most famous couples.”

“Mom. Isn’t sentencing me to a celebrity wedding way more unlucky than Danny seeing my wedding dress? I mean, look how all the famous couples have turned out!” she said reasonably.

“Well, there’s nothing to be done now. This wedding is going to be the most well known in both the earth and the ghost zone.”

Sam whirled around. “Oh no. Please don’t tell me you invited the people in the United Dimensions.”

“I had to!” Sam’s mom said irritably. “Danny’s one of the main leaders there! It would simply not do not to invite them!”

“Well, you could have told me!” Sam shouted. “Do you think I want Spectra at my wedding!”

“Because I knew you would react like that. Same with Danny. I had to keep it a secret.”

Sam ran out the door, ignoring her mom’s pleadings. A woman’s wedding was supposed to be the happiest day of her life. It looked like it would be the opposite.

S2

Danny phased down into the hall with Tucker and Jazz, right into the center of a large group of people. More specifically, a large group of ectoplasmic entities that Danny wasn’t the best of friends with.

“Oh my g—“ Jazz started.

“Hey kid!” a large hand slapped Danny on the back, and Danny turned to see Johnny 13 smiling lazily at him. “Glad to see you finally marry that gloomy chick. It’s about time. We all thought you’d propose right after your high school graduation.”

“He did,” Tucker interjected. “Sam just wanted to wait until after she graduated from college. Something about her career.”

“Tucker!” Danny hissed, trying to keep his temper down in a room filled with almost all his former enemies. True, they were on a truce now, but that didn’t mean Danny wanted them all at his wedding.

“Is everyone from the UD here?” Jazz asked in astonishment. “How big of a wedding is Pamela planning?”

“If this is just the ghosts, I shudder to think of all the humans coming,” Tucker looked around with wide eyes.

“Why didn’t anyone think of telling me this!” Danny glowered. “How come none of you managed to mention at our last meeting that oh, you were attending my wedding!”

“Mrs. Manson told us not to,” Kitty said with a shrug, holding on to Johnny possessively, not liking the way he was leering Jazz down. “She said she wanted it to be a surprise.”

“Oh, man,” Tucker shook his head. “This should be fun.”

“Well, this is wonderful,” Danny’s voice dripped with sarcasm. “Just invite all the people that hate my guts. Why didn’t we bring my evil future self to witness the ceremony as well?”

“Uh, he’s sitting on a shelf back home, but I can go back and bring it if you want,” a melodious voice suggested, and Danny turned around to see his mentor, Clockwork.

“Clockwork!” He then frowned and groused, “Well, why didn’t you think it fit to mention that my future mother-in-law invited all the ghosts in UD! Didn’t you know that I wouldn’t react well?”

“I couldn’t,” he said in a serious voice. “It could have altered time acutely, and a future you have avoided so well could have returned.”

“Liar.”

“Of course,” the ghost shifted into his childlike form. “I just wanted to see your face when you found out.”

Then they both turned around at the recognized voice of Jack Fenton doing his habitual cry of “Ghosts!” and spun around just in time to see him explode in a blast from his new weapon, which resulted in the ghosts completely unharmed and the walls blemished with faint spots of a glowing green solution.

The manager hit his head against the wall several times and came forward with a pained expression. It was clear this wasn’t the first time this had happened today.

Sam ran out from the hallway and stopped dead when she saw the crowded hallway. “Holy—“ she began, and crashed into her former enemy, Miss Paullina Sanchez.

“Hey, watch it, bee—“ the girl started, but then saw who ran into her. “Oh,” her eyes narrowed.

“What,” Sam clenched her hands into fists, “are you doing here?”

The Latina girl looked surprised then shrugged and pouted, “Your mother invited me. Anyways—“ Sam turned around and ran, not caring if it was impolite to leave like that. She needed to find Danny.

Then, in the same manner as she had bumped into Danny earlier, she whirled around and banged straight into the said groom, knocking them both on the floor.

“This is awful,” Sam moaned, holding her pounding head in her hands. “We’ve been locked up in the top floors for weeks getting ready for this wedding and brought everywhere my mother ordered, and we completely missed her evil schemes.”

“It wasn’t just that,” Danny assured her with a glum expression. “Your mother also worked on keeping it a secret, apparently. We never would have known. I really don’t want to know what else she has planned for us.”

“This sucks,” Sam sighed. “I’m sorry our wedding is going to be the worst memory of our nuptial lives.”

“Not necessarily,” Danny said thoughtfully. “Tucker, how would you feel about this…”

S2

“I cannot believe it,” Ember sang to her boyfriend. “They’re finally getting married. I never thought it would happen.”

“Everybody knew it was going to happen,” Skulker sulked. “It was the most obvious thing ever. Why’d you make me come to this stupid thing? I hate that cocky overconfident whelp.”

“Well, it’s not like I like him all that much either,” Ember argued back. “But come on! It’s not like we ever get invited to all that many weddings! Not to mention, Mrs. Manson said I could sing a song for them. This wedding is going to get the biggest publicity in this planet. How great is the song going to sell!”

“You wrote a song for them?” Kitty raised her eyebrow in disbelief.

“Well, no. But I made it sound like I did.”

Over in the other corner, Paullina was crying to her best friend, Star. “I can’t believe it! Phantom is now totally going to be out of reach forever! And married to that stupid puta!”

Star tried to comfort her, but her attempts hardly affected the distraught girl.

In the back of the room, by the hall, Jack and Maddie were doing their best to avoid the paparazzi stationed outside the hotel windows. “That’s my boy!” Jack bellowed at them. “My boy’s getting married!” In his excitement, he accidentally pressed on of the buttons on his jumpsuit, and shot the irked cameramen with glops of green foam.

Maddie sighed at her childish husband. “Honey, I thought you said you didn’t bring any weapons.”

“I didn’t! Well, sort of. I just, uh, brought a couple a guns to protect us if any ghosts decide to crash this party!”

The ghosts attending turned around at the loud, bumbling man, shrugged nonchalantly, and turned back around, confident that they should be fine against Danny’s overenthusiastic ghost hunting father.

A clearing of someone’s throat emitted from the loud speakers on the sides of the room, and everyone turned around to see Tucker Foley with Jazz Fenton next to him, both in elegant wedding attire.

“Attention, ladies and gentlemen, and other spiritual beings attending this wedding,” he announced. “I’ve got a quick message from the bride and groom before the wedding starts.”

Pamela’s eyes grew very wide and she stood up in horror.

“Dear Guests,” Tucker began. “This is Sam.”

I know that this event has been anticipated for months in advance. My mom says it’s going to be the biggest wedding of the century, and I don’t doubt that. I know a lot of people are very against the thought of a human marrying a half ghost, and even more are insanely excited for this event, but the truth is, this has been more painful than enjoyable for me. Anyone who knows me just a bit know that I have never really dreamed of standing in front of hundreds of people in a dress much too extravagant and with people filming the ceremony. Personally, I would have chosen a wedding with just my close friends and family. So, due to the stress and just the overall idea of this wedding, Danny and I have decided to elope. If Tucker is reading this to you now, then we’re probably already married.

Sam’s mother shrieked and fainted into her husband’s lap.

This is Danny now. I want to apologize to everyone here who took his or her time to come see this event. But, I don’t want you to come to a wedding and have to leave disappointed, so I’m happy to announce that a wedding will still be taking place today. The wedding of my best man Tucker Foley, and his bride, my sister, Jazz Fenton.

Maddie followed suit and collapsed onto her seat.

We hope you enjoy this wedding, and know that we are most definitely enjoying ours. Much love, Danny and Sam Fenton.</i>

S2

Somewhere in Europe, Danny was sitting in an outdoor couch with Sam sitting on his lap, both of them looking up at the stars.

“I can’t believe you agreed to elope,” Sam said dreamily. “And I can’t believe Tucker and Jazz are probably getting married right around this time. It’s really too bad we couldn’t get to be there with them.”

“Ah, Tucker really wasn’t complaining,” Danny pulled Sam closer to him. “Do you think your mom’s going to kill me?”

“Eh, probably, if we went back right now. If we hide for a couple weeks, hopefully the anger would have dissipated by then. But she’ll have her revenge. If I ever get pregnant, she’ll throw the biggest baby shower known to man. And we can’t escape out of that one.”

“I’m glad Frostbite agreed to lend me the Infinite Map for the occasion. Much faster than normal airplanes, at least.”

“Are you very disappointed that you never got to see me in that huge white wedding dress?” she asked him.

“Not really. That one covered you up too much. I couldn’t even see your eyes under that veil.”

“We’ve probably caused the biggest scandal in the press,” Sam giggled. “All the newspapers are going to be reporting on how the ghost boy and his bride disappeared on their own wedding, probably announcing it with awful puns. Inviso-bill and his bride go invisible on their wedding day.”

“I’m glad Jazz got her big wedding, though. She’s more the type to enjoy something glamorous like that. Not to mention that she didn’t get to partake in all the painful preparations beforehand.”

“Lucky for her,” Sam said, turning around so she could look him in the face. “I’m glad I married you, Danny.”

Danny smiled, and leaned in. “I’m glad I married you too, Sam,” he whispered before kissing her once again.
General Note: Please comment if you fav! :)

Haha, this was fun. Its totally stupid, of course, but who cares? xD Inspired by the people at TV.com when we got into the discussion of Danny and Sam's wedding...
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Phantom1424's avatar
I love that in the letter they signed out as "Danny and Sam Fenton". It just made everything way better!
Plus, "Sam Fenton" does have a ring to it, am I right?